You'd think with my 5th child on its way this whole experience would be familiar to me but guess what? This time its not! With my other four children when it came time for me to have my ultrasound, Adam and I decided NOT to find out the baby's sex but to wait until it was born. People often ask "How are you so strong?" or "I could never be that strong". Really people, you could be because its not like you have to be "strong" every second of every day! You only have to be strong on one day during your whole pregnancy. The day of your ultrasound and even then, you only have to be strong when you tell the tech "we don't want to know so please don't tell us!" It's really NOT that hard!
We've done the not finding out out thing FOUR times and have LOVED every part of not knowing. This time however, we have decided to find out. There are many reasons we are finding out at the ultrasound, first on the list being the major "musical bedrooms" we'll be playing regardless of the babies sex! But, with all the excitement as we count down to next week, this unfamiliar territory is giving me the jitters.
What if I am sad about what the baby's sex is? (Everyone knows we want a girl, but I LOVE my boys and KNOW I will love another one just as much! It's ludicrous to think I wouldn't love another boy!! But, I also worry about feeling disappointed which I DON'T want to feel, either way! Make sense?)
Then there is the fear that no matter what they say, a few days later I'll have the feeling I got one time on Christmas when I snooped and found a beautiful pair of Figure Skates only to see them on Christmas Morning as my "Main Gift"! I didn't love the skates any less, but didn't have the fun "surprised" feeling that I normally would get on Christmas! I don't want to regret finding out is what I'm saying! I regretted "snooping" at Christmas and don't want that feeling again!
Of course there is the concern of how other people will respond to my telling them the baby's sex. I think a lot of people see me as completely HEART SET on a girl and so their reactions if its a boy might cause my reaction to change. I would love another girl, but I'm NOT Heart Set on it. In fact, I'm trying to do the opposite and expect the doctor to say its a boy!
Finally there is the reality that comes with finding out the baby's sex. It makes everything so much more real. I'm SOOOOOO excited about this baby, don't get me wrong, but finding out boy or girl I think, makes it more real, and then I'll have to deal with the emotions of all that! :-) (Oh the emotions!)
So, with that little "vent" session, I will say goodnight! A week from tonight I'll be lying in bed, wide awake, watching the minutes DRIP by as I move into this unusual and unfamiliar part of my life as "A person who finds out"! :-)
Wish Me Luck!
8 comments:
I think it is funny how many people think we are crazy for not finding out. You're right, it doesn't take that much strength. The only real downside is having to agree on a boy and a girl name, which can be difficult if you agree on very little in the naming department.
We'll all love the newest Christofferson no matter what its gender!
Regardless of if you find out or not the joy and excitement is in the baby. Trust me you won't spoil 'Christmas' you'll just be prepared. The surprise is in how they look, their little personalities and how they fit into the family. So never fear, just ask JuJu she has done it both ways!!!!
well, I am excited for you that you are finding out. Either way, you will love it and know that he/she was supposed to be in your family. I am so excited to know what you are having as well.
I feel as if I am one of the only completely credible people on this matter since I've done it both way! Let me tell ya...as far as the "snooping" on Christmas feeling goes, you will not have that same feeling because yeah, you know the gender but you won't know what he/she looks like, how big he/she will be, his/her personality. There will still be so many surprises to come! You will not regret it at all! Trust me on that one. As for other people's reactions its like we talked about...the way you tell them and the wording you use when you tell them will determine their reaction. And if they don't react appropriately who cares. As for being a bit sad if its a boy, you'll get over it fast. Besides, I think its a girl, and i'm mostly always right about these types of things!!!
I am so excited to find out what you're having! I don't think you will feel like you did on Christmas. I knew with Madison that she was a girl, but it didn't make her birth any less special or fun. Even when you know the sex, there's nothing like holding your very new baby. But you already know that!
I am torn like you- I almost found out with Grace and decided the night before against it. I was glad becasue I love the suprise and excitement leading up to the birth. Either way though, we will love him/her.
We have to go to lunch again so I can tell you my finding out stories....Jenni our first was my only surprise, but #2 Ali was a surprise...ok shock...to Randy. Yeah! Let me know when you find out! So, so exciting!
I know exactly what you're feeling! I'm getting an ultrasound next Friday to find out and can't wait!
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