Holding Hands

Sidenote before I post:

Ever since we told Logan we were having another baby he has been telling us that he is so excited to be a brother. We've tried to tell him that he is already a brother but now he'll be the BIG brother. He still doesn't quite get it and just says he's gonna be a brother. So here is the conversation I had with him in church yesterday while he was sitting on my lap:

ME: Logan, you are getting so heavy, my leg's are hurting!
LOGAN (very matter of factly): I know! That's because I'm growing into a brother!!!

I giggled out loud it was so funny and then of course started to cry at how cute it was- cause these days, I cry at EVERTHING!!!


Anyway, I've always been the type who LOVES to hold hands! As a teenager on a date with a boy I liked, my favorite thing, sometimes even more than a kiss, was when the guy would reach out and take my hand. None of this linking pinkies stuff but a confident, I like you and I know you like me, kind of move, on his part, to take my hand in his. As a 13 1/2 year married woman, I still love to hold hands with my hubby and sometimes, on occasion, even get little butterflies in my tummy when he takes my hand in his!

I think my love affair with hand holding started when I was a little girl. Whenever I would spend time with my Nana I loved holding her hand and tracing her wrinkled and frail hands with my fingers. I knew every bump and boney spot on her hands and when she died, the only thing I wanted to do was hold her hand again. When we attended the viewing I took her hand and traced it with my fingers. Oh how I loved those hands!

Now that I'm a mom, my love of holding hands has extended over with my kids. I love holding hands with them too. Whether we're walking down the street or snuggling on the couch, I love holding their hands. Each of their hands is so familiar to me. The chubby knuckles Logan has, Garett's dry spots when the whether is cold, Annie's petite feminine fingers and Spencer's strong, solid hands. I just love holding their hands.

I hadn't really given much thought to how much I love holding hands until a few weeks ago! Of course because of my current state of "Emotional Wreck" I've become a bit more contemplative and tender of late and holding hands has been something on my mind ever since Adam and I took the kids to the movies in early January. It was one of my few days in the past months where I felt human enough to leave the house -notice I said "felt" human and not "looked" human? A completely different matter altogether - anyway, after the movie was over we were all walking out of the theater chatting excitedly about our favorite parts of the show. As is habit with my little ones, I reached my hand down in hopes of finding a little hand to link fingers with. In no time at all Logan's little hand was in mine and that's when it struck me. I LOVE HOLDING HANDS!!! This little hand in mine was so familiar to me. It's chubby little knuckles, its dry skin and its comfortable little fit. I was so overwhelmed with how much I LOVED holding this little hand that I reached my other hand down beside me on the other side in hopes of finding another familiar hand that I loved just as much. Without hesitation, a hand, a little bit bigger than the one I held in my right, slid into mine.Garett's. I looked up, and down the hall, a little ways away, I saw my two oldest children chattering away with their dad. It was then that I remembered how much I ADORE holding hands with the people I love. And I wished, at that moment, that I had three more hands to reach out and hang on tight to these amazing people I've been blessed to have as mine; My four babies and the love of my life. I just wanted to take each of them by the hand and never let go of that moment!

As I've struggled through the past weeks of feeling sick, tired, cranky and down right terrible, I've thought a lot about that day and each of my families sweet hands. I've realized that it has been the little hands of my children and the strong, bold, loving hand of my husband that have helped to carry me through these long, sometimes extremely sickly, days. They have given me little hand squeezes as they walk past me, they have lifted their hands to do chores and work that they normally aren't asked to do, they have wrapped their arms around me and tenderly patted my back in sympathy and love, they have laid down on the bed next to me and slipped their hands in to mine and they have wiped the tears of frustration from my cheeks. I am so blessed. I am so grateful. I am so indebted to them for using their hands to hold mine when I have needed them most! Thank you my sweet children and amazing, incredible husband! I love you each so much! And I hope we'll always hold eachothers hands!